


Life's little demonic surprises

by sonicsora



Category: Brütal Legend
Genre: Demons are weird, F/M, Gen, Humor, Magical Pregnancy, Mpreg, Ophelia smashed so hard she knocked eddie up, Over protective partner, Protectiveness, Tainted coil biology is weird, Unplanned Pregnancy, demon biology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-16 08:05:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18090569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonicsora/pseuds/sonicsora
Summary: What Eddie assumed was a simple flu ends up being somethingdrasticallydifferent. Turns out being half demon has its problems alongside its perks. Turns out, he's very pregnant.Thanks, Ophelia.





	Life's little demonic surprises

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BrutalHearts666](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrutalHearts666/gifts).



> This was written 100% on a whim to play around with demon biology, plz enjoy the silliness. This is a lot of silly disconnected fluff and humor bits.

Eddie groaned a little propping his chin on against the familiar rim of the port-a-potty toilet bowl. “Well fuck me.” He managed to peel himself off of the toilet rim with a disgusted groan, fumbling onto his knees. The sound of Ophelia’s sneakers hitting grass means she’s given him enough room to stand, not to mention let go of his hair. 

“I still think you should see Kill Master. This is kind of becoming a weird regular habit.” The familiarity of Ophelia’s hand on his shoulders was soothing enough Eddie wanted to melt into it. At this point, all he wants to do is sleep and cuddle his girlfriend. 

“It’s just a flu, babe.” He turns to smile at her, trying to sound chipper though he had vomit breath. 

“Flu’s usually don’t last two weeks.” She dryly threw back, just wrapping her arms around his shoulders gently. “Eddie, I’m serious here. Can you at least indulge me for a little and at least go up to do a checkup?” 

The roadie groaned a little, “Fine.” 

“First, brush your teeth, we’ll try and get breakfast into you and we’ll head up.” She tapped his nose with a finger fondly. 

Eddie just groaned again, pouting against Ophelia. She just laughed at his pouting, "C'mon slowpoke." He had no qualms with being dragged around by her to get things done before he had to see the good old heal bastard. 

\---

Kill Master gave a thoughtful grunt as he played bass. Plucking at his strings slowly as he squinted over the rim of his sunglasses at Eddie. The roadie is reluctantly settled in the bed of a healing bass. “Well, he ain’t dying.” 

“Well, that’s good.” Ophelia stated slowly, “But…?” 

“But, he ain’t exactly normal either.” The healer exhaled, blowing cigarette smoke down over them. “We both know he’s bout half demon.” It wasn’t common knowledge in Bladehenge, but Kill Master and Lita knew by this point to avoid any confusion or possible issues. “Which has some complications when it comes to really lookin’ that deep past a basic heal.” 

“I already don’t like this.” Eddie stated simply, reclining back a little. He at least wasn't feeling as queasy as he was earlier. “Can you at least tell us if its a fuckin’ flu or not?” 

“You don’t got the flu, lad.” Kill Master casually shook ash from his cigarette. He brought the cigarette back to his lips after a moment eying the two standing before him. “Far as I can tell, you’re pregnant.” 

There was a long confused pause before Eddie manages a very high pitched, “ _Excuse me_?” 

“He’s- a man.” Ophelia manages awkwardly, looking at Kill Master like he was crazy. Her brows scrunched together in confusion. “I can verify this.” 

“Yeah, that don’t mean shit to demons.” Kill Master seemed unimpressed by their confusion. “If someone is higher in their fucking weird hierarchy, they can knock ‘em up.” He drops his gaze to Ophelia, arching a single brow back at her. “Suppose you’re the one in charge then?” 

Eddie manages a choked sound whilst Ophelia hides her face in her hands. 

“Regardless, congrats. You’re parents now. Well, you will be in a few months anyway.” Kill Master states casually, he takes another slow drag from his cigarette unruffled by the situation. “Stay hydrated, Riggs. You're a little low on water now. Ain't great for the hellspawn you're cooking. Cut beer out, don't smoke as much, maybe take a break or two.” 

Eddie sunk back into the healing bass bed with a panicky sound whilst Ophelia reached out to awkwardly pat his arm. "We'll... keep that in mind." Ophelia said slowly. Kill Master gives a casual grunt, taking another drag. After a moment, he finally speaks up again, blowing smoke out over the cave.

"Congrats on having the first kid after the war." He tips his hat back somewhat. Eddie gives a strangled squeak sound at that bit of news, sinking back into Ophelia. 

\----

Eddie rolls his eyes somewhat, reclining further back as he watches the brunette for what feels like the fifth time take in the landscape for any threats. Her hands are on the hilt of her daggers, as if ready to draw at any second. “Ophelia.” 

“Yes?” 

“Can I get out of the druid plow now, or are you gonna threaten another herd of Raptor Elk for breathin’ the same air I do?” 

She finally cuts her gaze over to him, narrowing her eyes. “They were aggressive.” 

“They were eating grass.” Eddie slowly sits up in the drivers seat, careful not to bump his stomach against the steering wheel as he moves to open the car door. “I’ve run them over a million times with the car, babe. I can handle ‘em.” 

“You weren’t pregnant before.” She cuts in, clearly on edge still. 

“ _Babe_.” He exhales stepping out of the car now to walk around. Being a camp twenty-four-seven has been a real pain in the ass, so some actual time away feels like a blessing, even if he has to ride the wave of Ophelia's growing protective streak. When the news broke across the faction, beyond horror and confusion, some protectiveness slowly started to crop up. It started subtly, people bringing him things, people asking more about how he was feeling- and eventually turned into people more or less keeping a close eye on him around camp. 

Which meant Eddie sure as hell couldn't do as much shit as he wanted to do. Not without many, many worried eyes landing on him or stepping in to take over. 

The roadie moved to carefully hunker down in the grass with a tired grunt. "Are you gonna stab everythin' or sit with me?"

Ophelia spared their surroundings one last suspicious look before moving to sit down next to her boyfriend. 

\---

The more pregnant he got, the more he wondered how the fuck anyone functioned during all of this. He wasn’t exactly doing all that much anymore, but gods damn if he wasn’t hurting or achey regularly now. 

Eddie grunted as he pressed his hand against his lower back, popping it back once again. He shifted a little in his seat to try and find a comfortable position as he placed a hand down on the map he spread across the table. The other men around him were mildly uncomfortable but Eddie couldn’t muster a lot of shits to give. He wanted to finish this briefing and go back to bed. 

“Okay, so, this is gonna be your route.” He traced a finger along the path. “You’re doing a quick mission, nothin’ deadly serious. Just stick to what I marked on the maps and you should be good.” He tapped at the page before looking back at the mixed group of Headbangers, Bassists, and Bouncers. “Got it?” 

“Yeah.” A headbanger scratched his cheek awkwardly, “Is… like, how does it feel?” 

“Doin’ the mission? Dunno, you’ll have to do it to find out.” Eddie said dryly back, a bit tired of beating around the bush on the issue. People had been avoiding directly asking him or just awkwardly avoiding any eye contact with his belly. “Being pregnant you mean? Achey, heavy, makes me tired as hell.” 

“Still dunno how its possible.” A bassist mumbles uncertainly. 

“Demon venom.” Eddie stated simply, more than happy to cling to that lie. Like hell he wants to tell the faction he’s a demon when he can’t do shit to protect himself without endangering his and Ophelia’s kid. “Real nasty. Don’t let demons get ya.” He patted his belly very slowly making eye contact with every man present. 

The group of men murmurs amongst themselves nervously. 

\---

“Man, I sure love dying and death.” Eddie said dryly as he stretches out across the bedding. No position is comfortable and this fake contraction bullshit is leaving him grouchier than he’s ever felt in his life. “Fuck.” 

“It’ll settle soon enough.” Ophelia says gently back, coaxing a cool hand over his forehead. The chill of her touch is comforting enough Eddie at least finds a spot to just ride out the pain. As far as Kill Master had said, it was his body just practicing the motions, not that it made it any better. There was still the question of how the fuck they were going to get the kid _out_ of him, but no one wants to even think about it yet. 

“I know, but fuuuuck.” He groaned back squirming on the bed unhappily. Ophelia moves over to curl close to him, which at least makes him slowly relax even as his body goes through practice contractions. 

“How the fuck am I even gonna push this baby out?” He questions, touching a question none of them had really touched. 

“I’m- gonna have to talk to Kill Master, or see if any of the Razor Girls were mid-wives before…” Ophelia exhaled, “They would know more than I do.” 

“God, its gonna be a C-section, goodbye all my organs.” Eddie groans tiredly, sinking further into the blankets. He grumbles into Ophelia’s hair, happy to cuddle with her at least. She kisses him, only moving to drape her arms around him comfortingly. 

"C-Section?" 

"They cut you open, pull out baby." Eddie explained, not wanting to get too deeply on that shit. The way Ophelia winced was enough for him to figure out this wasn't going to be a fun conversation to figure out with Kill Master or any midwives. "I guess that's... kinda the only way."

"I'd think so." She agrees, still holding Eddie close. "We'll talk to him tomorrow about it."

The roadie just grunts, burrowing more into his partner. 

“We’ll figure it out.” She promises, with enough conviction Eddie finds it hard not to believe her.


End file.
